Hey Kids! It's me Cap'n Obama! This Summer I want you to come on down to...
CAP'N OBAMA'S FLOAT N' CHANGE WATERPARK!!!!!!!!
We've got every fun filled ride you can imagine in my 60 acre fun filled Water Amusement Park!
Like our undersea playground "Underwater Mortgage"!
JIMMY: Hey that's my house down there!
OBAMA: Great! It will be easy for you to explore!
[Obama plants foot in kids back and kicks in]
JIMMY: AAAAHHHHHHH!
Or How about our the riviting "Economic Slide"!
SUSIE: Is this ride scary Cap'n Obama?
OBAMA: No little Susie it's very safe. It will gently take you on a very placid and gentle ride.
SUSIE: Oh great! Here I go!.......AAAHHHHH....MOMMY! HELP! THERE'S NO BOTTOM! I WANT TO GET OFF!!!!!!!!!!
OBAMA: Sheesh. Lightweight
Don't forget about "Tax Falls"!
It will hose you down with 1000's and 1000's of gallons of water at extreme pressure.
BOBBY: IT BURNS! OH MY GOD IT BURNS! TURN IT OFF! LET SOMEONE ELSE HAVE A TURN FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!!PLEASE!!!!
OBAMA: Now Bobby just remember Shared Sacrifice!
[kid in line tugs on Obama's coat]
JOHNNY: But Cap'n Obama you said we didn't have to get on.
OBAMA: You Won't! Now shut up kid and remember to vote for Cap'n Obama.
If you get hungry Remember to stop by our Franchise of Michelle's Burger-O-Bama Rama! The Peas are Great!
And while the kids are having all that fun you adults go visit our Hot Tub! We use Green Energy to power it and it uses no electricity. All Natural Sources!
PARENT: Oh this is relaxing Cap'n Obama. Wait, if it doesn't use electricity then where do all these bubbles come from......Uhm why is Barney Frank in here?
BARNEY FRANK: Hewwo! You should Twy the Beans at Michelle's Burger-O-Bama Rama!
PARENT: Oh Gross! I'm getting out of here!
And You can enjoy all of this at the Summer discount Rate of $5000 a day!
PARENT: That's Highway Robbery!
OBAMA: Nope! That's the New America!
So come on down today to.....
CAP'N OBAMA'S FLOAT N' CHANGE WATERPARK!!!!!!!!
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