Now lets give a big hello to our host Wolf Blitzer! Here's Wolfie!!!!!
WOLF BLITZER: Thank you thank you. Is Everyone ready for a great show today?
AUDIENCE: YES!
WOLF BLITZER: Alright well let's meet our contestants
ANNOUNCER: From the Great Red State of Alaska is Former Governor Sarah Palin!!!
WOLF: So glad to have you here for the Show. How are you?
SARAH PALIN: Great Wolf! I'm so glad to be here and I'm here to kick some Democrat Butt.
WOLF: Who do we have from the blue state?
ANNOUNCER: Well Wolf we have the President of the United States of America Barack Obama
OBAMA: Hey Wolf! I'm ready for a great show.
WOLF: Alright contestants You know the rules. I ask the questions to each of you one at a time and you answer them each separately. I have not seen these questions before, and neither have you Gov Palin, and we of coursed forwarded you a copy of all the answers Mr. President. Alright let's get started.
PALIN: Wait, what? He already knows all the answers before the show has started?!
WOLF: Huh? Oh yes. It's alright Gov. Palin you will of course get a fair treatment by the judges. It's all fair. Alright Let's Play DOUBLE STANDARD!!!
PALIN: Ok I guess.
WOLF: Alright first question. Topic American History. The First question is for you Gov Palin. This Whig Politician was the 2nd Postmaster General of the Millard Filmore Administration.?
PALIN: Are you serious?
WOLF: I am completely serious. If you ever want to even think about running for political office in this country you have to Know what the media and the American People but more importantly the media thinks you should know.
PALIN: Ok? I don't know.
WOLF: hahahahahahaha she doesn't know. Oh my. I have to catch my breath. hahahaha....ok ok. Judges are you ok. I know, I know....haha....ok. The Answer is Samuel Dickinson Hubbard.
PALIN: That's really obscure. Well maybe I'll make it up on the next round.
WOLF: Maybe. Ok Mr President Your turn. Same Topic. Who Was the President that preceded you at the office of President?
PALIN: WHAT!
WOLF: Please Gov. Palin It's not your turn. Now Mr. President.
OBAMA: Yes Wolf the Answer is George H. W. Bush
WOLF: Judges? Yes we will give it to you. They both have W in their name so I think that counts. And we know you've been under a lot of stress lately.
PALIN: This is unbelievable!
WOLF: Alright Gov Palin your turn. Topic is Economics. What is the Square root of the current National Debt?
PALIN: Uhm I ....
WOLF: You better hurry It's increasing by the second.
PALIN: 4 million?
WOLF: Stop It! Stop It! Oh my God you're killing me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Please no more....Hhahahahahahahahah....The answer is 3,788,766.65
PALIN: Can we just move on, please.
WOLF: Whew...Alright. Mr President. Topic is again Economics. Identify the following Number.
OBAMA: Hmmmm....Let's see. I.....uhm....hmmmmmm....
WOLF: Do you need to ask for help from an audience member?
PALIN: He gets help from the audience But not me?
WOLF: Yes that's the rules.
OBAMA: I would like to ask Malia.
MALIA: Yes it's 3 daddy.
AUDIENCE: Awwwwww
OBAMA: Thanks Malia. 3 Wolf.
WOLF: Great work Mr. President. Now it's time for the Lightening Round. I will ask you 5 questions and you answer them as fast as you can. Ready? Gov Palin your first.
PALIN: Alright Wolf I'm ready.
WOLF: The topic is Tax Code numbering and I will read the questions in Latin.
PALIN: I don't speak Latin.
WOLF: This is a Travesty Gov Palin.
PALIN:...why are you staring at me.
WOLF:...
PALIN: wolf?
WOLF:...
PALIN: uhm...
WOLF: Fine We will have to disqualify you. Mr. President all you have to do is answer these 5 questions and you win.
OBAMA: Ok
WOLF: Answer the Following: The Cow goes________?
OBAMA: Moo
WOLF: Old McDonald had a ________?
OBAMA: farm!
WOLF: Water is ______?
OBAMA: wet!
WOLF: The plural to Internet is______?
OBAMA: Internets.
WOLF: Judges? Yes we'll take it. Ya know what we're not even going to ask you the last question. YOU WIN!
OBAMA: ALRIGHT!!!!
PALIN: This is ridiculous.
WOLF: Thanks Everybody! Join us next time for DOUBLE STANDARD!!!
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