Saturday, July 30, 2011

Sasha & Malia Obama's Home School Economics

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OBAMA:  Alright Girls! It’s allowance time!


MALIA: Alright Payday!

OBAMA: Ok, that’s $20 for Malia and $15 for Sasha.

SASHA: Hmmmm That’s not Fair!

OBAMA: Well Malia is older and does more chores than you so I give her a little more each week.

SASHA: Uh Dad well you’re always talking about how we should all be fair and people should be treated…equally, what about me?

OBAMA:  Well, Ha! You have been listening! Uhm…Why not! I better practice what I preach! Here ya go Sasha 5 extra dollars. Now you both get equal amounts. You don’t have a problem with that do you Malia?

MALIA: Nah Dad, Social Justice…right?

OBAMA: There ya go girl! Alright well I’m off to the golf course, see ya later this evening!

SASHA:  Uh Dad, I think there are some other things we should discuss.

OBAMA: Ok, baby  what’s up?

SASHA: The work conditions are not what Malia and I would consider kid friendly. I mean pulling up those weeds in Mom’s garden is hard work and I think we should be compensated as such.

Future Chairman of the Federal Reserve

OBAMA:  Wow, Sasha, those are some big words you’re using! I’ll talk to your mom later and we’ll see what we can do about that.

SASHA:  Alright just have her see Frank.

OBAMA: Frank? Who’s Frank?

SASHA: Oh he’s our Union Steward from the Local 1600 First Kids Union. He’ll present you with our terms.
Union Steward Frank

OBAMA: Terms? What?!

SASHA: Yeah Dad! We unionized and we feel as though we are being treated unfairly so we have a list of demands or we'll strike.

OBAMA: Malia? Do you agree with your sister?

MALIA: Under the terms of our collective bargaining agreement Sasha is to represent us during all member sponsored talks.

SASHA: If you want to do this now we can. FRANK!

FRANK: Section 1: Under the terms of Local 1600 the said members require that all health care benefits are paid in advance.

OBAMA: Sasha. You’re a child your mother and I take care of your healthcare.

SASHA:  Sorry Dad. We can’t trust your charity. I mean what if you want to go off to Vegas and we don’t have enough money for my tonsillectomy.  Or you greedily try to hog all the profits for yourself. We can’t have that. Malia's  going to  need braces soon.

OBAMA: Profits! What are you talking about that’s my money! I earned it.

SASHA: Dad..... Shared Sacrifice. We now each get a third. One third for me, one third for Malia, and you and Mom can keep the other third.

OBAMA:  Why do Your Mom and I only get a third and not each a quarter?

SASHA: Marriage Penalty.

OBAMA: Wait a minute! Do you realize what kind of money that is?!

ATTORNEY GENERAL ERIC HOLDER: $10.5 million to be exact. That would be approxiamately 3.5 mill for each group involved.

OBAMA: Eric! What are you doing here?!

SASHA: I have Eric on retainer. He’s our personal lawyer now.

HOLDER: She pays pretty good.

OBAMA:  This is insane! That is MY money!

SASHA: Uh Uh Uh Our Money! Remember Shared Sacrifice.

OBAMA:  Grrrrr. Alright well what do you plan on doing with the money?

SASHA: That’s Easy. I’m going to build a giant water slide on the side of the West Wing that goes all around Washington and takes you back with a big splash in the Potomac.  After you get off each person gets to jet pack back to the beginning to go again.

OBAMA: What?! How much will that cost?

HOLDER:  The estimate came in at 25 million.

OBAMA: WHAT!!!!! Sasha WE don’t have that kind of money.

SASHA: Uh Uh Uh YOU don’t have that kind of money. I guess you better get back to work and earn some more.

OBAMA: I wouldn’t be able to do that! What do you want me to do Print the money?!

SASHA: I have one of the machines from the mint in my bedroom.

OBAMA: You’ve been Printing Money! Where did you learn to do that?!

SASHA: I learned it from watching you alright! I learned it from watching you.

OBAMA: This is madness!

SASHA: One thing good has come from my new found wealth is that I want to keep it, that’s why I’ve donated money to the Sarah Palin Campaign.


SASHA:  Frank could you go over section 912 about cruel and excessive punishments.

OBAMA: *sigh*

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