The Amazing ReDistributor Issue 225 Vol 3.
We take you to Washington DC the home of our hero The ReDistributor, also known by his secret identity President Barack Obama. Here Barack is hosting a medal ceremony for a brave Union protester who risked his afternoon to protest a recent court decision.
BARACK OBAMA: Yes Mr. Ortiz, I give you this Presidential Medal of Freedom for sacrificing an afternoon on the couch watching reruns of Law & Order in order to Protest a desicion that would have stripped your Union's collective bargaining rights. Thank you for your service.
[a staffer agent interrupts the president]
STAFFER: Sir there's an "Emergency".
OBAMA: Emergency? Is Michelle trying to order a Baconator Frosty at Wendy's again? I've told her they won't make it a second time. It's too dangerous.
STAFFER: No sir. The other kind of "Emergency".
OBAMA: Oh Right. You'll have to excuse me everyone. I have a pressing matter to attend to.
[Obama enters Oval Office]
OBAMA: Fill me in.
STAFFER: Looks like Double Trouble Mr. President. There's a mugging happening right now in Des Moines and a Terrorist about to destroy the State House in Boston with radioactive nano bots . They need your help.
OBAMA: I can't be in both places at once. Hmmm. Massachuttsets is a given in 2012. I'll pick the mugging in the Swing State. Look out Injustice The ReDistributor is Here!
In the Blink of an eye mild mannered Barack Obama changes into the legendary American guardian of justice! Flying Higher than the Debt Ceiling! Faster than Inflation! More Powerful than the Flatulence of Barney Frank! IT'S THE REDISTRIBUTOR!
As our hero approaches Des Moines he comes upon the scene of a mugging in process.
WOMAN: Help! Help me! Please someone He's trying to get my purse!
MUGGER: Just give me the purse lady if you know what's good for ya!
OBAMA: Halt! Injustice, You've met your match! The ReDistributor is here!
MUGGER & WOMAN: THE REDISTRIBUTOR!!!
WOMAN: Oh thank God you're here! This man is trying to mug me!
[Our hero grabs the mugger]
OBAMA: I can see that! Now give me that purse! Here ya go ma'am.
WOMAN: Thank you. I don't know how to repay you I....wait a minute...my wallet is missing.
OBAMA: Of course it is. I gave it to this poor victim. He is obviously a result of the Old America and it's greedy policies. Why in the world would you think he would resort to a life a crime.
WOMAN: What?! You can't just give him my money!
OBAMA: It's not your money. It's OUR money. He obviously needs it more than you. Now excuse me sir would you like it in all twenties?
MUGGER: Could you give me some ones I'm going to the Strip club later.
WOMAN: I can't believe this is Happening! First He was robbing me now You are!
OBAMA: No no no. It's not robbing. It's Redistributing. Get it. Like my name.
WOMAN: Yeah I get it. Sheesh! I'm glad I'm not at the Bank.
OBAMA: Speaking of which, there's an ATM. My mortal enemy. grrrrr. But they have their uses. Here her Bank card let's do some further redistributing. Here ya go sir, $2500.
WOMAN: I'm gonna be sick.
OBAMA: Alright Mister now that I'm done redistributing I have take you somewhere you won't do this criminal activity ever again.
WOMAN: Yes, you came to your senses ReDistributor take him to prison!
OBAMA: Who said anything about prison? Have you ever worked for the Democratic National Committee? They have great benefits and you can do this without any hassle from the Law.
WOMAN: sigh
Join us next week to see The ReDistributor fight Injustice one Middle Class citizen at a time.
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