Obama's Going on a Job Hunt!!!

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Professional Job Hunters

Next on the Hunting Channel we join Barack Obama and Joe Biden in the newest episode of Beltway Hunters!

OBAMA:  Well Joe, we're back again to help Taxpayers find the elusive prey known as the Job.

BIDEN: JOBS!

OBAMA:  Well we have an Average Unemployed Taxpayer, uhm....

TAXPAYER:  Greg.

OBAMA: Right! Greg! Greg you're unemployed is that correct?

GREG:  Yeah, for about a year now and I heard that you were the guys I needed to come to to find a job.

OBAMA:  Oh you're right about that! You have come to the professionals.

BIDEN: JOBS!

OBAMA: Now the "Job" is a slippery animal that can only be captured with government intervention. Right Joe?

BIDEN: JOBS!

GREG: Is that all he says?

OBAMA: Well it is his favorite three letter word.  Anyway you are going to need some Job Hunting gear.

GREG:  Ok.

OBAMA:  We have a Job Catching Sack and a Job Whacking Stick.

GREG:  Sounds good so far.

BIDEN: JOBS!

OBAMA:  So Why don't you stand over there and hold the Job Catching Sack between your legs. Joe and I are going to flush and catch it in the sack and whack it with the stick.

GREG:  This sounds an awful lot like Snipe Hunting.

OBAMA:  NO! This is very serious work.  Now Joe teach Greg the sound the Job most likes to hear: The Call of the Stimulus.

BIDEN: JOOOOOOOOOOOB Job Job Job Job JOOOOOOOOOOOOOB Job Job Job Job JOOOOOOOOB Job Job Job Job JOOOOOOOOOOOB

GREG: Are you sure this works?

OBAMA:  Hey I'm the President, would I lie to you? Remember I said I have a Laser like focus on Jobs?

GREG: Yeah.

OBAMA: Well, I literally have a laser that tracks Jobs.

BIDEN: Laaaaaser....

OBAMA: Good Joe, You learned a new word! Ok Greg, you ready?

GREG: Absolutely!

OBAMA: Joe and I are going past those bushes and flush those Jobs in your direction. Make sure to remember the Call!

GREG: JOOOOOOOBS Job Job Job Job JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS Job Job Job Job JOOOOOOOBS Job Job..............

[Two Months Later]

GREG: Jooooooooobs..........job.....job..... here job....where are you.....sigh......Where are they?  I'll just go over here past these bushes where Obama and Biden went.  HEY! WHAT THE HELL! YOU'RE PLAYING GOLF!

OBAMA:  Duh. Where do you think the Jobs are?

BIDEN: JOBS!

GREG: So You've been playing golf this whole time?

Professional Leisure Hunters

OBAMA: No! We've also been to Martha's Vineyard.

GREG: MARTHA'S VINEYARD!  *^%$#@#$%!!!!!!

OBAMA: Job Hunting is REALLY Hard Work.

BIDEN: JOBS!

OBAMA: We're you  doing the call?

GREG: Yes! I was doing the Stupid Call!

OBAMA:  What about the Bill?

GREG: What Bill?!

OBAMA:  You didn't tell your Congressman to Pass the Jobs Bill?

BIDEN: JOBS!

GREG: NO!

OBAMA: Well there's your problem. I said to Pass this Bill Now, Remember?

GREG: No! I don't Remember! All I know is I've been out here for weeks standing with a sack between my legs and a stick over my head yelling JOOOOOBS JOB JOB JOB JOB ! AND THERE ARE NO JOBS!

BIDEN: JOBS!

GREG: WILL YOU SHUT UP! Now Where are the Jobs "LASER MAN"?

OBAMA: Look I know where some Jobs are but you're going to have to wait until after November 2012. So you are really going to have to vote for me.

GREG: Ok I'm out of here! 

BIDEN: jobs?

OBAMA: He's Right. That is annoying. Shut up.

Correct Stance when Job Hunting.

The Morlock Revolt © 2011