|Professional Job Hunters|
Next on the Hunting Channel we join Barack Obama and Joe Biden in the newest episode of Beltway Hunters!
OBAMA: Well Joe, we're back again to help Taxpayers find the elusive prey known as the Job.
OBAMA: Well we have an Average Unemployed Taxpayer, uhm....
OBAMA: Right! Greg! Greg you're unemployed is that correct?
GREG: Yeah, for about a year now and I heard that you were the guys I needed to come to to find a job.
OBAMA: Oh you're right about that! You have come to the professionals.
OBAMA: Now the "Job" is a slippery animal that can only be captured with government intervention. Right Joe?
GREG: Is that all he says?
OBAMA: Well it is his favorite three letter word. Anyway you are going to need some Job Hunting gear.
OBAMA: We have a Job Catching Sack and a Job Whacking Stick.
GREG: Sounds good so far.
OBAMA: So Why don't you stand over there and hold the Job Catching Sack between your legs. Joe and I are going to flush and catch it in the sack and whack it with the stick.
GREG: This sounds an awful lot like Snipe Hunting.
OBAMA: NO! This is very serious work. Now Joe teach Greg the sound the Job most likes to hear: The Call of the Stimulus.
BIDEN: JOOOOOOOOOOOB Job Job Job Job JOOOOOOOOOOOOOB Job Job Job Job JOOOOOOOOB Job Job Job Job JOOOOOOOOOOOB
GREG: Are you sure this works?
OBAMA: Hey I'm the President, would I lie to you? Remember I said I have a Laser like focus on Jobs?
OBAMA: Well, I literally have a laser that tracks Jobs.
OBAMA: Good Joe, You learned a new word! Ok Greg, you ready?
OBAMA: Joe and I are going past those bushes and flush those Jobs in your direction. Make sure to remember the Call!
GREG: JOOOOOOOBS Job Job Job Job JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS Job Job Job Job JOOOOOOOBS Job Job..............
[Two Months Later]
GREG: Jooooooooobs..........job.....job..... here job....where are you.....sigh......Where are they? I'll just go over here past these bushes where Obama and Biden went. HEY! WHAT THE HELL! YOU'RE PLAYING GOLF!
OBAMA: Duh. Where do you think the Jobs are?
GREG: So You've been playing golf this whole time?
|Professional Leisure Hunters|
OBAMA: No! We've also been to Martha's Vineyard.
GREG: MARTHA'S VINEYARD! *^%$#@#$%!!!!!!
OBAMA: Job Hunting is REALLY Hard Work.
OBAMA: We're you doing the call?
GREG: Yes! I was doing the Stupid Call!
OBAMA: What about the Bill?
GREG: What Bill?!
OBAMA: You didn't tell your Congressman to Pass the Jobs Bill?
OBAMA: Well there's your problem. I said to Pass this Bill Now, Remember?
GREG: No! I don't Remember! All I know is I've been out here for weeks standing with a sack between my legs and a stick over my head yelling JOOOOOBS JOB JOB JOB JOB ! AND THERE ARE NO JOBS!
GREG: WILL YOU SHUT UP! Now Where are the Jobs "LASER MAN"?
OBAMA: Look I know where some Jobs are but you're going to have to wait until after November 2012. So you are really going to have to vote for me.
GREG: Ok I'm out of here!
OBAMA: He's Right. That is annoying. Shut up.
|Correct Stance when Job Hunting.|
The Morlock Revolt © 2011